By Shreeya Sinha. India now has more than 1, matchmaking sites, giving parents — and potential brides and grooms — thousands of choices to help arrange modern marriages while allowing families to adhere to longstanding traditions regarding caste and religion. We asked readers, some of whom only gave their first names, who have used such sites to share their tips. Kadhambari Sridhar, 26, from Falls Church, Va. She said she had hoped the site for Tamils looking for mates would help her find a husband who lived in the United States and shared her religion and culture. But that did not happen. She has been using Shaadi. Though her first encounter with a man she met on the site did not work out, she said it was a good experience because she talked to his parents first and then spent a month chatting with him before they met.
Making happy marriages happen since , Jeevansathi understands the importance of choosing the right partner for marriage, especially in the Indian cultural setup. Something went wrong. Please try again after some time. Love is looking for you Create Profile For.
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Ours is an arranged marriage but I would not agree because I fell in love with her with every day passing. Since the day i. Read more. I got an interest in my Shadi. Then I got called by her family. Later on we noticed that we are from same hometown. Its love marriage arranged by Shadi. Thanks Shadi.
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It has been a few months into trying out the prospect of arranged marriage. The decision came with the desire to find a decent, understanding companion I could share my life with. At the outset, let me tell you the process of finding a suitable match in this structure requires a considerable investment of time and energy. So after much deliberation, I finally decided to take the plunge.
As an independent, working woman of today, why did I choose to do this? Not because of a lack of faith in the ability to fall in love organically but an inkling that perhaps sometimes love is not just enough. The structure of arranged marriage, on the contrary, was allowing me to pick and choose the man who suited my criteria — including emotional intelligence — and help me eliminate apparent risks in a relationship like any toxicity that sometimes go unnoticed, ignored or encountered later in an otherwise organic romantic bond.
This, of course, does not go to suggest that an arranged marriage would turn out to be risk-free, but an early red flag gives you the chance to opt out of the match without any baggage. Perhaps the fact that we see progressive and successful men and women of today as shown in the series still going ahead with the set-up challenges the argument in a way.
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Ruchika Tulshyan was 22 when her mother started searching for her future husband. And she has mixed feelings — happy to see her experiences represented but forced to reflect on some hard truths about the way women are objectified within the system. I was disappointed, of course, there’s colorism, there’s casteism, there’s a lot of emphasis on traditional beauty.
We asked readers how to navigate the more than matchmaking sites in India giving people thousands of choices on choosing a potential.
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Few people in the Capital can talk about matchmaking as insightfully as Poonam Sachdev. Their catchphrase Rishte Hi Rishte: Ek Baar Mil Toh Lein matches and more matches, meet us at least once used to be scrawled along railway tracks across north India in the s. Sachdev, 53, who has been in the business of matchmaking for 30 years, says Covid has made her job more complicated than ever before.
Suddenly, a lot of people seem to believe in a simple marriage.
What influences our youth to set aside their enterprising, free-wheeling spirit to follow the well-trodden path of arranged marriages? Part of the answer lies in the deep socialisation process, which is woven into the fabric of the close-knit extended Indian family, and its rootedness in the larger network of society. The young too seem to believe in the cultural definition of marriage as a family affair, rather than an individual undertaking.
Harmony and shared values arising from common backgrounds are seen as more important than individual attraction. The common grounds provided by an arranged match — familiar customs, foods, relatives, incomes, etc — also helps in negotiating the dark thicket of matchmaking. The upside is also that this aids the adjustment process with the new partner and family, a stand-in for what is seen as the variable element of love.
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Indian Matchmaking, a new Netflix show, has become a huge hit, spawning Arranged marriages are commonplace in India and even though.
On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the perfect match for an arranged marriage. The format of the show is simple. Hopeful brides- and grooms-to-be meet with Taparia — often with their overbearing parents in tow — for an initial consultation. Criteria are laid out, potential suitors are presented on paper, dates are arranged, and then it’s up to the couple to decide if it’s a match. In some respects, the producers should be commended.
This is a show that turns away from the “big fat Indian wedding” trope and offers something fresh: a look at how some traditional-facing couples meet through the services of a professional matchmaker. The characters’ stories — as well as cringier moments — play out in entertaining ways, at times revealing the absurdities and awkwardness of matchmaking. I laughed when, for example, Taparia sought the consultation of an astrologist and a face reader.
Matchmaker Sima Taparia meets with hopeful clients. Credit: Netflix. At other points, the show presents brutal truths about Indian culture: the emphasis on being “fair”; the enormous pressure to wed; the focus on caste and class; the stigmatization of independent, working women. But the show fails to contextualize or even question these problematic beliefs when they’re brought up by its characters, presenting them instead as the status quo. With that, Netflix missed an opportunity to challenge a social system fraught with cultural biases, and also educate a global audience on important nuances.
In Sima Taparia, the show found a regressive anchor who merely peddles flawed practices.
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